It can be so complicated to sit down with your senior and have conversations about what’s going on with her health. You may think you’re just asking for information, and your senior may take that as an invasive probe into her life. There’s a delicate balance you have to keep.
Stick to What You Know for Sure
You might have some guesses about what’s going on with your senior’s health and well-being. That makes sense, especially if you’re her family caregiver. But it’s far more helpful during this talk if you stick to the facts that you know for sure. Avoid guessing or taking the conversation in unproven directions.
Ask Your Senior if She Has Anything She Wants to Talk About
Keep your senior involved. If she starts to feel as if you’re talking at her instead of with her, the conversation can get derailed very quickly. Listen to what she has to say, because she may bring up issues that you didn’t realize were a concern for her.
Try Not to Put Her on the Defensive
These are tricky conversations to have with your senior, because saying the wrong thing or using the wrong tone of voice might backfire fast. Be careful about offering opinions and make sure you’re not accusatory. Using “I” statements can be very helpful and are less likely to create a defensive reaction in your senior.
Offer Solutions Instead of More Problems
Try to come into this conversation with a list of solutions ready to suggest, rather than just additional problems. Adding more problems from your perspective can make your senior feel even more overwhelmed and that’s not the goal of this talk. Go slowly and offer ideas, like hiring home care providers to handle things that she’s having a tough time handling on her own.
You Might Not Address it All in One Conversation
It’s really important to remember that as much as you want to knock all these details out in one conversation, that’s not necessarily how things are going to go. Let your senior have time to process what you’ve said. Likewise, you may need some time to process what she’s said. Then you can come back when you’re both ready.
Talking about health issues can be really difficult for your senior. She may want to stay independent and keep living life on her terms, but health changes make that difficult. Remember to have compassion for what she’s facing with these talks.